Backblast by F3 Phunny on 09/24/2023

THE DEACON (RUCK Ed.) BACKBLAST: Saturday September 16, 2023

[…electric rock guitar intro…]
Fourteen ruckers from five different regions converged on Joyner Park to join F3 NE Wake for its 4th annual Deacon CSAUP, 2nd annual ruck edition! Standard ruck weight was 30# plus any water, chewies, socks, and whatnot. We launched just as the bootcampers started their warmup and proceeded south down the greenway and neighborhood, then off trail to a creek crossing. Local rains produced a refreshing mid-calf experience and 5-minutes of squishy shoes. […cue gentle water creek splashing soundtrack…]
Light and fast, we made our time hack to the first AO. Losing our rucks, we killed time doing squat thrusters to the beat of Easy Street from Walking Dead fame… […volume up on country banjo and folksy female vocalist…] Little did we know that we would be immersed in that musical pain train during the entire workout, consisting of Flush’s Seven: 5 reps WW2’s, run across the quad, 30 reps Merkins, run back across the quad… 10 reps of WW2’s, run, 25 reps Merkins, etc. Always equaling 35 reps.
For the rucker’s second AO, we loaded up some extra sandbag weight for a long 2.1 mile coupon carry. We shared weight every 3 minutes or so, switching the burden as we all got to know each other better and shared jokes and stories […background sounds of children giggling…] We again made our time hack to AO #3 and dropped the weight for more adventures. We toned our bellies with 7 minutes of abs, and then shredded our legs with a Flush’s Seven style workout: 5 jump squats at the bottom of a small hill, run up the hill to 30 calf raise… run back down the hill to 10 jump squats, then up the hill again to 25 calf raises. Etc.

[…interlude audio of ravenous gluttonous eating and slurping…] After a quick hydration and nutrition break, the ruckers again broke away from the runners to return to the grass seminary quad. Here we worked a Dora, 100 reps of the following: overhead ruck press, ruck swings, ruck squats, ruck v‐ups, and ruck lunges. Movement was 50m bear crawl then mosey back to partner.
But wait. That’s not all… […ferocious growling audio…] From the depths of the field came the unholy Kraken (aka “all sandbags carabiner clipped together into a long line”). Ruckers could not move their feet as they held on to this beast, moving it down the line of men toward the next AO. As ruckers pushed the long strand of sandbags completely through, they ran to the front to keep the motion going.
At the final AO, ruckers dropped their rucks and sandbags to join in the boot camp workout. […sounds of a squeaky whiny Q voice…] Pax started with a solid set of 20 starter burpees, then moved onto back and forth wheelbarrows. After that, there was partner carries, then sprints with partner resistance.
On the way to endex, with the need for speed, ruckers left the sandbags behind and moved with ruck only in an “Indian Ruck” formation. The last rucker stopped for 3 ruck squats, then ran to the front of the line. The new last rucker squatted and ran. Etc. And of course, the creek was recrossed and we completed the event on time. COT, name-o-rama, announcements, prayer requests, and closing prayer together.
[…sounds of an angelic chorus…with rock guitar accompaniment… fade to black…]