Backblast by Spit Valve (Geoff) on 04/01/2024

Backblast! The Fools of IronPax

AO: Agoge
Q: Spit Valve (Geoff)
PAX: Scott Markel Aka Boys 2 Men, Tube Top (Matt Boretti), Oscar Mayer (Shaun Hanna), Green Thumb (Ray Perry), Thingamabob (Ariel), Pawnee, Kitchen (Joseph Johnson), U-turn (Silas Johnson), Boingo (Jeffrey Christensen), Six Pack (Matt Coombs), Gilmore (Jim T), Josh Grapentin, Elton (Tim), Ham (Chris Schafer), Rio (Andrew DiGiovanni), Tendinitis (Ilia Kolosov), Little Dinghy (Jim Amy), Floppy Disk (Tom Neal), Billy Goat, Prius – Ryan McCallum, Wrigley, Cavalier
FNGs: None
Count: 23


  • 4 burpees for the Wolfpack men and women making the Final Four
  • SSH
  • Good Mornings
  • Sir Fazio Arm Circles and PAX’s choice while I explained the workout (poorly)

THE THANG: We broke into five teams of four and one team of three, descended to the lower field, and grabbed coupons.

We completed week 3 of IronPax 2024 (“The Cindy 500”) relay-style. Each team could decide how long to go before the next member took over, including staging runners out on the course to allow for a full-sprint 400 meter run.

Round 1
10 Merkins
15 Coupon Thrusters
20 Merkins
25 Coupon Thrusters
30 Merkins
400 Meter Run

Round 2
10 Coupon Thrusters
15 V-Ups
20 Coupon Thrusters
25 V-Ups
30 Coupon Thrusters
400 Meter Run

Round 3
10 V-Ups
15 Jungle Boi Squats
20 V-Ups
25 Jungle Boi Squats
30 V-Ups
400 Meter Run

Round 4
10 Jungle Boi Squats
15 Blockees
20 Jungle Boi Squats
25 Blockees
30 Jungle Boi Squats
400 Meter Run

Round 5
10 Blockees
15 Merkins
20 Blockees
25 Merkins
30 Blockees
400 Meter Run

Stop the clock. I believe our winning team was 21:36, which was still 33 seconds behind F3 Churham’s Spooky’s time of 21:03 (which was almost 5 minutes ahead of the second place time). Unreal.

(The soundtrack featured dishonesty’s greatest hits, including Little Lies from Fleetwood Mac, You Lie from The Band Perry, Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood, and Lyin’ Eyes by the Eagles.)

Running short on time, we attempted to complete one round of week 4 (“We Are Not Professionals”).

  • Cones were set up at Start, 10 yards, 20 yards, and 30 yards
  • Murder Bunny 10 yards from Start to Cone 1
  • Perform 10 WW3 Sit-Ups (bench press at bottom, military press at top)
  • Bear Crawl back to Start
  • Perform 5 Perfect Merkins (hand release at bottom, left/right shoulder tap at top)
  • Mosey out to your block at Cone 1
  • Murder Bunny 10 yards from Cone 1 to Cone 2
  • Perform 15 WW3 Sit-Ups
  • Bear Crawl back to Start
  • Perform 5 Perfect Merkins
  • Mosey out to your block at Cone 2
  • Murder Bunny 10 yards from Cone 2 to Cone 3
  • Perform 20 WW3 Sit-Ups
  • Bear Crawl back to Start
  • Perform 5 Perfect Merkins
  • Mosey out to your block at Cone 3
  • REDRUM Bunny (Reverse Murder Bunny) 10 yards from Cone 3 back to Cone 2
  • Perform 15 WW3 Sit-Ups
  • And so on….

The real workout back in September was three rounds, with round 1 being all Coupon Thrusters, round 2 being all WW3 Sit-Ups, and round 3 being all Blockees. There was also a 5 minute EMOM timer going, which required 3 Kraken Burpees every time it went off.


  • SLT meeting tonight at 7 pm at Compass Rose
  • “Meat and Greet” bourbon and grass-fed beef gathering at Iverson’s April 6th from 3-6pm
  • Final Four M-friendly watch part at Waffle House’s April 6th at 6 pm
  • VQ week is the week after Mother’s Day
  • Respect week is the week after Father’s Day


  • Attend a Q Source if you can possibly fit it into your schedule
  • My son Benjamin has taken significant strides with his therapy

The Fools of IronPax