Backblast by Billy Goat on 03/08/2023

AO: Quarantine

Date: 8-Mar-2023

PAX: Boyz 2 Men, Febreeze, Oscar Mayer, Rio, Roscoe P, Snickle (FNG), Spit Valve, Squeaks, Strudel, Thingamabob, Tube Top

Q: Billy Goat

Theme: Quarter-tine Arcade

Twelve PAX battle for Parking Garage 2 domination in a Slapsgiving simulation for the ages! After cautiously navigating the F3 mission, 5 principles, and warmarama (side straddle hop, good mornings, imperial walkers, hill billies, merkins, mountain climbers, half groiners, and Willie Mays Hays, the PAX engaged in some light agility with ladder, hurdles and rings.

The first gaming reference took the PAX through a set of “Konami Cheat Codes” (↑↑↓↓←→←→BA Start) with box jumps x2, LR step ups x2, burpee, and Apolo Ono in sequence, performed a total of 4 times. Sufficiently warm, the PAX moved to the Main Event.

Rechristened “The Bunker,” the basement of the parking garage served as a training run through of “N64 Goldeneye IRL.”

Rules of engagement:

Location listed on your draw is your “Spawn Point.” Travel to that location and perform 10 Merkins, 20 Squats, and 30 LBCs before moving forward.

When you encounter an opponent, you must engage in one-on-one combat.

One on one combat only!

You cannot pass an opponent on the same level or ramp without engaging. NO DYING ANOTHER DAY!

You CAN run past engaged opponents. Puppy guarding is frowned upon.

Engage with lunges (forward backward side) only.

Main weapon is the “Slapper.” Must contact the opponent’s torso. No “headshots”

Additional weapons are available. You can only acquire a weapon by besting the weapon’s owner. Only one weapon at a time!


• Slappers – tag your opponent. Winner moves on. Loser does 5 squat thrust. Tie is 3 squat thrusts each.

• Jaws – same as the slapper, just longer reach.

• Odd Job – throw a hat instead of tagging

• The Man with the Golden Gun – squirt gun instead of tagging.

• Moonraker – don the space suit. Wearer can move via broad jumps and apolo onos (added mobility!!)

• Xenia Onatopp – opponent does 5 thighmasters each leg

• Proximity mine – pass an upward kettle bell, knock the bell down and do 10 WW2s. Applies to all who pass it at the same time (can be “killed” by your own mine). Take and reset at a new location after performing your WW2s


Two teams: F3 vs. Henchmen

The ‘flag’ is a CMU. F3 wins by securing their own flag and the “Quarantine” flag on the roof. Henchmen win by returning both to the basement.

When carrying the flag, you must first put down the CMU to engage an opponent. The CMU may be taken by another passing opponent or team mate during the engaged deathmatch.

With F3 “triumphant” over the Henchmen, the HIM returned to the flag for a set of Double Oh Sevens with Outlaws and Merkins with left/right arm circles (two merkins per rep).

Despite 12 PAX essentially playing 4 different games as the rules broke down, fun was had by all! Great work, Gamers!

Prayers for Elton’s Dad, Boyz 2 Men’s Dad, Tube Top’s daughter and for Cheesesteak.

Welcome FNG, Snickle(back)!