AO: Max Bandwidth
Date: 4-May-2023
PAX: Change Order, Crunchie, Flush, Green Thumb, Hambone, Jay-Z, Paranoid, Pierogi, Rio, Roscoe P, Spit Valve
Q: Billy Goat
Theme: Lance Bass’ 44th Birthday
13 HIM who look better with their helmets on were treated to a righteous beatdown on the nerdiest day of the year. In full cosplay regalia, YHQ as the OG Mando, Boba Fett, called Warmarama including F-3POs (limp wristed, protocol droid style side straddle hop), real rocket shooting action Good Mornings, Imperial Walkers, Nerfherders (Hill Billy’s), and Mando (Ranger) Merkins. Fully fogged up, YHQ broke oath and moseyed forth helmetless to the suck blocks for the first of six stations. This is the way.
Episode I: The Suck Block Menace
Ten Wookiees (Burpee with NC Dry Docks)
Sixteen Mando Jet Packs (Reverse Lunge to jump) (note…this was absolutely the highlight for YHC….nothing beats seeing 13 grown men leaping skyward in cadence as though gravity could be overcome)
Twenty Han Shoots First Dips (Alt. blaster hand)- PEW PEW PEW!
Twenty-five Kowakian Monkey Humpers “ahh hahahahahahah!”
Thirty Stormtrooper Shuffles (Quick Feet)
Episode II: Execute Dora 66
Partner with a clone…size matters not…run the the third island and switch work on the following totals:
66 Mando Merkins (Ranger)
106 Sith Squats (butt to step/curb)
166 Little Baby Yodas (froggy pumps)
Episode III: Size Matters Not
Ten “Use the Force” Merkins (plyo merkins)
Ten “I Have the High Ground” Box Jumps
Bring Balance To the Force (15 s hold)
Four Han Swole-ohs (Mickey Mouse Merkins)
Ten Qui-Gon N’Diayes (Makhtars while yelling “Anakin”)
Jules Windu Beset on All Sides (Racoon Walk the wall while reciting Ezekiel 25:17)
Episode IV: Stay On Target
Thirty “That’s No Moon” Gorilla Humpers
Ten “Thai” Fighters (Billy Blanks time with left-right hook, followed by left-right knee)
Ten X-Wing Fighters (Standing X-Factor)
Death Star Attack Sprint “I have you now!” down the track
Five Death Stars (Burpee Tuck Jump to Burpee Star Jump is one)
Episode V: Let the Wookie Win
Partner 1: Pull-ups to Failure Followed by Dead Hang or hanging leg raise until Partner 2 Finishes
Partner 2: 77 F-3POs (SSH with Flye)
Flapjack
Episode VI: The Kessel Run
Run around the course as marked
OR
Make the Jump to Hyperspace via 12 Burpee Broad Jumps through The Maw
Back to the flag for a finisher with R5-D4 ”Uncle Owen, this R2 unit has a BAD MOTIVATOR” (plank Jack, Ewok Jack, and Star Jump on ascending count to Five with the intent to come back down to four, but time expired on the girlfriendless experience).
Announcements: Meet in the Street (or is it “Meat” in the Street :muscle::skin-tone-3:) on Saturday, Fellowship luncheon on 19-May, and Brew Ruck on 20-May.
Prayers for Pierogi’s travels this week and Jay-Z’s father-in-law with some health concerns.
May the Fourth Be With You!