Backblast by Billy Goat on 05/04/2024

Backblast! May the Fourth Episode IV: A New Nope

AO: Farm
Q: Billy Goat
PAX: F3 Poncharello (Aaron Denn), Pawnee, Dowry (Derrick Wolfe), Papi (Isaias Brito), Trey Fussell (Bill Nye), Boyz II Men, BTS, Egoo, Fahrenheit, Frappuccino, housekeeping, Jingle, Lucky, Mediocre, Melamine, Mini-Fig, Poncherello, Red Card, Sweeper, Zeke, Mermaid, Tomahawk, Sorting Hat
FNGs: 3 Mermaid, Tomahawk, Sorting Hat
Count: 24

May the 4th: A New Nope

It’s the most wonderful time of the year for YHC…STAR WARS DAY!!!! 23 (Sabacc!) PAX showed to celebrate including 8 pint size variants. With several members of the unfamiliar with the specific Goat Lexicon, YHC took the time to Han-splain to the slightest detail.

Warmarama initiated with the fanboy favorite, F-3P0, a Side Straddle Hop with limp wrists akin to everyone’s favorite prissy protocol droid. Next up, Sir Alec Guinness Arm Circles were followed in non-standard cadence of, “Help me, Obi-Wan…Help me, Obi-Two…Help me, Obi-Three” and so on. “Nerf herders” (galactically synonymous with “Hill Billies”) were the final call before moving across the parking lot.

The PAX picked up the pace a bit with some “Stormtrooper Shuffles” (quick feet) on the parking barriers. Near the older playground, Qui-Gon N’Diayes (Like Maktar only yelling, “Anakin!” at the top) and Speeder Bikes (same as Freddie Mercury) were called. Lining up single file to traverse the fiery perils of Mustafar, kids and dads played, “The Floor is Lava” intent on crossing without a life of Bacta baths. Gungan Squats (regular down, rising up on one leg with arms thrown about in “comical” flailing) and Kowakian Monkey Humpers (same as regular monkey humpers except with Salacious cackling) entertained the crowd while waiting their turn. Jingle led Mary at the far end to keep the Pax moving. After finishing the obstacle course, each Jedi and Padawan performed 5 “Wookiees” (burpee with a shryiiwook yell) before moseying to the Shelter.

At the Shelter, PAX performed a double step up on the picnic tables proclaiming, “I have the high ground” at the top. Han shoots first dips (down, then up on a single, alternating arm with the opposite hand pew-pewing. Action Figure Merkins (see also: Carolina Dry Docks) and X-Wing Fighters (Standing X-Factors) concluded the Echo Base calls.

Moving to the soccer fields, teams of 4 were formed for a search and rescue mission of 20 Star Wars artifacts located around the fields, playgrounds and school breezeway. Each artifact included a high-rep count exercise of one of the previous Star Wars themed calls to be divided among the team members. Teams performed the exercises together and returned the artifacts to the designated rebel bases (Dadtooine, Dadthomir, Dadgobah, and DaDaDa Daaaaa). Once time was called, artifact counts were performed to declare a winning team. Groans ensued with the plot twist of “These aren’t the droids you’re looking for” on any find that wasn’t deemed to be a canonical droid.


Another five Wookiees were doled out to all the PAX before heading back to the Lars’ Homestead on Tatooine.

Wonderful participation from all the young padawans who didn’t seem immediately amused with being dragged to a Saturday morning workout. Great work, Young Jedis!

Meet in the Street and the new AO at Falls Lake Dam (“EDM”) were among the announcements.

Prayers for Spit Valve and his son.

Welcome FNGs, Mermaid, Sorting Hat, and Tomahawk!

Great work!